October 7, 2013 An unsettled Sunday

I really felt unsettled yesterday. I could not identify why; I just felt unsettled. I could not write or edit or anything! Sensing I needed to take a little drive somewhere, I grabbed my camera and drove to a nearby lake.

I took several pictures because of the late fall water levels. I was able to walk on part of the river bed as the water release has been scaled back for the fall/winter season. I did enjoy getting out and about, but I still felt a little unsettled.

When I got home I had an email waiting for me. It was mother with bad news. She had just learned that my remaining grandmother – my favorite – had passed away.

Apparently grandma died during my trip up to Montana in September to see mom and go to Yellowstone Park. I guess she was passing about the time I was coming home to all that bad weather. My uncle was unable to get in touch with us as he did not have our contact information and must have lost his Internet provider to be able to send us emails. I do not fault him for that as I suspect he was quite stressed, being as how he had been living with my grandmother for some time and had been taking care of her.

Grandma had been in declining health for many years. But each time I traveled up to Montana I made it a point to see her. She was always thrilled to have me drop in to see her, and she often reminded me I was her favorite grandson. And this year I did make it a special point to drop in for a visit to see her when I went up to see mom back in June.

She was turning 94 this year (July) and I knew she was not long for this world. She was in poor shape when I saw her last. But we had a very pleasant chat and she was happy I stopped by. Looking back, I’m certainly glad I was there to be able to tell her I loved her one last time.

As I ponder this blog entry, I am reminded that I had grandma on my mind these past few weeks, unaware that she had already passed. I was even thinking of sending a card or note to her, telling her how I was doing and why I had not been back that way recently and that I loved her. I had no idea it was too late and that she was already gone.

Perhaps it is a reminder that I’m getting old and that I should treasure the relationships I have. Mom even gave me some thoughts and instructions if anything should happen to her, being as how she lives alone and is starting to get those creaks and groans in her bones and muscles. So now I’m sitting here wondering who I else I need to think about and who might need to hear me say I love them.

Kinda sobering, wouldn’t you say?