“Are you sure you want to do this? I’m not sure we should be doing this.”
“It’ll be fine, Rebecca.”
“But you’re my therapist.”
“I only want to understand. I thought this would be the best way. Is that so bad?”
“No. But I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“It’s… it’s complicated.”
“Help me understand, Rebecca.” There’s an awkward pause followed by… “You, uh… you do find me attractive, don’t you, Rebecca?”
She’s embarrassed and her head lowers… “Yes. Yes I do.”
“I find you attractive as well, Rebecca. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do. It’s all right. That’s why I requested this meeting here at my pool in our swimsuits. I want to understand your problem, Rebecca.” There’s another pause, this time followed by a wholly unprofessional, flirtatious smile…
“I want to swim with you, Rebecca. I want to be close to you. I want to understand this thing you have with the water. Is that all right?”
“I guess so.”
She’s trembling again; her excitement is growing. Doesn’t her therapist understand? This probably isn’t a good idea. Rebecca knows that somehow she… she loses herself underwater when it comes to being with another woman. She does things… horrible things… things she feels like she can’t control.
The therapist takes her hand and slowly… seductively leads her down the steps into the pool. Then she pauses and takes a deep breath before admitting something she should never give into. “Rebecca? I have a confession to make.”
“What is that?”
“Ever since I met you I’ve always wanted to do this.”
The therapist gently caresses Rebecca’s shoulder. She draws even closer. Then she gives her a light kiss on the lips. Rebecca trembles as something sparks inside her.
No. Not again…
“Was that unpleasant, Rebecca?” The therapist recognizes her patient’s hesitancy.
“No.” The trembling returns as the urge grows stronger.
“Let’s go for a swim, Rebecca. Help me understand this problem you have in the water with other women.”
Before she can resist she is gently pulled along out into deeper water by her therapist. She can feel something fanning the flames of her desire, flames she’s trying to willfully put out. She can also feel that familiar urge stir within her, and she continues to tremble.
“Are you ok, Rebecca? Why you’re shivering, honey. Is it because of me?”
“Yes it is.”
“Let’s go underwater. Ok, honey?”
“Maybe we’d better not.”
“I need to understand so I can help you, Rebecca. Help me understand. Come underwater with me.”
Rebecca nods as her resistance melts away. They slip under the surface together. Bubbles emerge out of two sets of noses.
Now that she’s underwater, the urge is much stronger. She hesitates as her therapist reaches out to her, caressing her cheek and touching her shoulder. She trembles and loses bubbles as the woman draws closer to her.
She feels the attraction and it lures her right in. It also frightens her; something about it frightens her. She can feel the urge growing ever stronger, rising up to take control of her. She tries to fight it off.
The therapist moves in very close, brushing their lips together. Rebecca tries to resist but it’s so hard. There’s another caress of her face, and she trembles before pulling away.
They surface together as the therapist frowns at her. “Rebecca? Are you resisting me?”
“I’m not… I’m not sure…”
“Why? Why are you resisting me?”
“It’s complicated. You can’t understand. You won’t understand.”
“Make me understand, Rebecca. C’mon, honey; let’s go back underwater. Show me; make me understand.”
Rebecca can feel it growing inside her, threatening to take over and causing her to lose control. She cannot lose control, not this time. But she wants to swim with this woman so much, wants to be underwater with her.
She is unable to resist the demands of her therapist. So she nods weakly as they submerge together. This time her therapist leads the way into the deep end.
She follows, growing more and more excited. The urge is becoming much stronger now. She’s barely in control. Maybe they’ll stop before it’s too late.
They swim around each other. Then her therapist draws close, stealing another kiss. She tries to resist but it’s almost impossible with the attractive woman swimming around with her.
Her therapist reaches out and touches her again, caressing her. She smiles weakly as she swims out of reach. But her therapist follows her, refusing to be denied.
Rebecca’s mind is in turmoil. Doesn’t this woman understand? She really shouldn’t be in the water with me. It’s like something else is trying to possess her, trying to take over.
The therapist gives her another light kiss on the lips. Rebecca tries to resist. But it’s much harder now. The kiss is soft and seductive, and she can feel that urge swelling within her. All she knows is that she must try to resist.
But her willpower is nearly gone…
They swim around each other again and again, looking at each other while taking each other in. Once more her therapist moves in to kiss her. She tries one last time to avoid it, turning her head so that the kiss glances off her cheek. Then she reaches out and gently pushes the woman away.
It’s so strong now; she’s barely in control. Somehow she must put an end to this; her therapist just doesn’t understand. But she’s no longer sure she can hold back.
It may have already gone too far…
They surface together but the therapist is confused. She wants Rebeca, and the signs indicate Rebecca wants her. This is totally unprofessional but she cannot help herself.
The young woman’s actions are contrary, even mysterious. She must understand why if she is to help her. She must understand why if she is going to be able to successfully seduce her.
“Rebecca? Don’t you like me, honey?”
“I like you very much.”
“Then why do you resist me? Is something wrong?”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then help me, Rebecca. Help me understand.”
Rebecca feels it now. The urge is upon her, burning intensely. It is too hard to resist. She finally lets go and gives in to it.
She gives the therapist a beguiling smile, telling herself this time it will be ok. This time it will be different. After all, the therapist is here to help her.
“It’s ok now. I’m fine. It’ll be better under the water; you’ll see. Come. Let me show you.”
“Yes, Rebecca. Show me.”
The therapist feels excitement…. desire. Maybe now her patient will give in to her advances and reveal to her this mysterious problem. Perhaps it was nothing more than simple hesitation about being passionate underwater. But she can help Rebecca with that.
At any rate she believes she will soon find out. Once Rebecca gives in to her she will taste the pleasures that are locked away within this enigmatic young woman. She will open the gentle flower and taste of its fragrant delights.
They submerge together, swimming around each other as their eyes take in each other’s alluring charms. Then they come together. She reaches out and caresses Rebecca, only this time the caress is returned. Her gentle kiss is also returned.
This is much better; it must be a major breakthrough. Perhaps now the young woman will give in to her. An afternoon of passionate lovemaking underwater with the delectable flower that is Rebecca will make for a pleasant diversion. And she will truly understand this problem her patient has.
She gives her another bubbly kiss, one that is again returned. Rebecca is responding to her much more warmly now. But now she must surface. She’s been holding her breath for a while, not paying attention to how long they’ve both been under. Her lungs are burning.
Her attempt to rise is halted; Rebecca holds her down by her shoulders. She looks at the one who would be her underwater lover in confusion. Then she shakes her head as bubbles slip out of her mouth…
Rebecca? I need air, honey.
Rebecca smiles at her and kisses her gently on the lips. For the moment her need for air is pushed aside as the therapist smiles and returns the kiss. But the urge to breathe quickly returns. This time it is much more insistent.
She tries to surface. But Rebecca holds her down. Does this amorous young woman now want to play??
Yes, yes, Rebecca. I will return. But I must breathe first. Let me up!
She tries once more to rise to the surface. But Rebecca is insistent, keeping her submerged. The therapist burbles in alarm, her eyes opening in astonishment as Rebecca keeps her down.
Their roles strangely reverse, only now it is not so arousing. Rebecca tries to kiss her fiercely. And this time it is the therapist who resists. She doesn’t want to kiss right now… she wants to breathe…
Rebecca?? Let me go, honey; I need to go up for another breath!
The therapist struggles and breaks free, shooting up until her head comes up out of the water. She coughs and sputters in alarm as Rebecca follows her up. She is totally astonished at this dramatic turn of events.
The young woman is at her side, pulling on her arm as they tread water in the middle of the deep end.
“Why did you leave?” Rebecca asks, acting almost as though she’s hurt. Her voice is tinged with anger.
“I needed air, Rebecca. Damn, you can hold your breath a really long time!”
“I thought you wanted to be underwater with me.”
“I do, Rebecca. But I need to breathe. Damn, girl! I can hold my breath a long time, honey… but not that long.”
The therapist feel an insistent tug on her arm. “It’s ok now,” Rebecca reassures her. “Come back down with me. It’s better under the water.”
Now the therapist is confused… and a little concerned. “Rebecca? I don’t understand. What’s gotten into you?”
“Come down with me. It’s better under the water. I’ll make you understand.”
Something does not feel right. She feels alarm bells going off inside her. But she wants to help her patient… needs to understand.
“Ok, Rebecca. Just make sure you let me up when I need to breathe, ok?”
For Rebecca the urge is incredibly strong now, virtually overpowering. What has been awakened within her must now be satisfied. The woman must come underwater with her!
They fill their lungs and submerge together. In an instant she feels much better. This is the way it should be.
She is strongly attracted to her therapist… and her therapist is strongly attracted to her. She knows that for a fact. And now she will have her.
They touch each other… caress each other. There’s a gentle brush of the lips against each other. They smile at each other and Rebecca is reassured…
Yes. This is right. This is the way it’s supposed to be. It’s going to be all right now.
They share another kiss… another caress. Rebecca feels the sensations swell within her, feels the tingles of excitement. This is the way it should be. This is the way it will be. Soon this woman will understand.
The therapist feels it in her lungs again. Once more she needs to go up for another breath. So she starts to head for the surface. And once more Rebecca holds her down…
No. Stay here with me. It is better down here. Here, let me show you.
She leans forward and kisses her therapist. Her kiss is hesitantly returned. The therapist feels a mixture of arousal combined with growing fear…
Yes, Rebecca. I want more; much more. But first you must let me up, honey. I need to breathe again.
She tries to surface and is denied once more as she is pulled back down. Rebecca simply won’t let her surface. The therapist begins to struggle a little…
Honey? What are you doing? I need air again? Let me go, baby.
She tries to be gentle, tries to break away without spooking the young woman. But Rebecca won’t let her go. And now those gentle heaves in her lungs are becoming more insistent…
Rebecca? …honey? You’ve got to let me go up!
She tries to pull away. But Rebecca pulls her close and kisses her again. This time she is the one who resists, shaking her head in growing alarm as she spews bubbles…
Rebecca, what’s gotten into you?? Can’t you see I’m almost out of air? Let me go, honey!
She struggles harder, trying to pry herself out of the young woman’s grasp. But Rebecca refuses to let her go. The therapist loses another burst of air, astonished the young woman will not release her…
Rebecca? What the hell are you doing?? Let me go; don’t drown me?!
She struggles more violently, shaking her head as she tries to break free. But Rebecca increases her hold, gripping her arms even tighter. The young woman seems insistent at keeping her submerged.
Rebecca tries to keep her under, tries to convey to her just how important it is to stay down with her… Don’t go. Stay down here with me. It’s better down here. You’ll see. But strangely she is being resisted, just like all the other times.
The therapist spews bubbles as she cries out underwater in growing panic… “LET ME GO! REBECCA, LET ME GO!” But her patient refuses to release her. Strange how incredibly strong Rebecca has become now.
The woman wants to go up; Rebecca can see how she wants to go up just like all the others. But she has to make her stay down, has to explain to her… Stay here with me. It’s better down here. Can’t you see? Then she moves in to kiss her again, trying to convince her how much she likes her and wants her to stay.
Her therapist tries to resist, shaking her head as though avoiding those lips… NO REBECCA! NO MORE KISSING! LET ME UP, DAMN YOU! She struggles mightily, unable to comprehend why this crazy woman will not let her up.
She is terrified, her mind whirling with confusing thoughts. She cannot understand how this young woman went from being so shy and demure to being so amorous… and now so deadly. It simply does not make any sense!
She screams most of her breath away as she tries to pull away… LET ME GO – LET ME GO! But Rebecca holds on with grim determination, her eyes blazing now…
Stay down here with me. It’s better down here, don’t you see?
The therapist screams in terror, her stomach heaving as her lungs burn from a terrible fire. Air spews out of her mouth as she shakes her head in panic… REBECCA, LET GO!! But Rebecca will not let her go…
Stay with me. It’s better now, don’t you see? Here, let me kiss you.
“NOOOO!”
The therapist releases a bubbly scream as Rebecca moves in and gently kisses her cheek. Her lungs are on fire; she needs to surface right now. But Rebecca won’t let her.
There’s another burst of air; she’s lost most of what was in her lungs. Panicked, she covers her mouth in a frantic effort not to inhale. Her patient sees her panic and tries to reassure her…
No. It’s ok. Here, let me kiss you again and make it all better. You’ll see.
Rebecca grabs her arms and pulls them away from her mouth. Then she moves in and tenderly kisses the woman’s lips, oblivious to the panic in her therapist’s horrified expression…
NOOOOOO! LET ME UP, DAMN YOU! I DON’T WANT TO DROWN!
She’s dizzy from lack of air, her struggles weakening. She senses if she does not free herself from the murderous woman’s grasp in the next few moments she will never reach the surface. She has no idea how long she’s been under, how long she’s been forced to hold her breath.
With one last effort she tries to break away. The effort fails. At that moment she realizes she is doomed and it fills her with overwhelming terror.
OHMYGAWD; I’M GOING TO DROWN!
She cries out. Then she loses a massive burst of air. Rebecca steadfastly holds on as her therapist starts to spasm and convulse, losing bursts of air with each heave of her chest.
The shocked woman shakes her head in utter disbelief as her body goes into seizures, each painful spasm forcing another burst of air out of her lungs. She almost doubles over. The pain of inhaling water is incredible.
She opens and closes her mouth in a vain attempt to breathe. But there is only more water to be had. She convulses again, spewing a small burst of bubbles from her chest. Then her lungs are full of water. There is virtually no more air left in her body.
She shudders and twitches, her eyes wide in disbelief. Solitary bubbles flee past her parted lips. Then she sighs, a death rattle emanating from somewhere deep in her throat. At last she is still.
Rebecca sees that her therapist is going to stay underwater with her. It fills her with great joy and satisfaction. She plants loving kisses all over the woman’s lips, her cheeks, and her forehead. She even touches her shoulders and caresses her face, wiping the hair out of her eyes…
See? See how much better it is down here with me? But the woman doesn’t respond. There is no movement, no sign of life.
Rebecca kisses her lips once more. But there is no response. She caresses her face but there is no responding gesture on the part of the therapist. She lovingly brushes a hand through the woman’s hair, but again there is no response. Then she stares as though shocked…
No. It’s happened again…
Not again??
She stares in shock and horror. She can’t believe it has happened again.
It’s always like this. They always leave her. It’s supposed to be better under the water. But it always ends up just like all the others.
Rebecca turns and swims away, slowly rising out of the pool and filling her lungs from the mammoth breath-hold she has suffered through. She is filled with a great emptiness. Another one has come and gone. And she really liked this one!
She climbs out of the pool, turns and looks back at the woman floating face down. The urge is gone. Now only sadness remains.
“I told you you wouldn’t understand,” she says softly to the body in the pool. There is pain in her voice. Then Rebecca turns, gathers her clothes and walks away, wondering if she will ever be fully satisfied by another woman under the water with her…
© 2008; 2016 (written Dec 18 ’08; ed. Sep 5 ‘16 by riwa)
(Inspired by the MMP video clip series. Picture added for illustration purposes only.)