The Hanging Joke

Author’s note: I got this idea shortly after I learned Suicide Squad was coming out. It has been simmering in the back of my head for some time until recently. I am not fully familiar with these characters so I wrote based on what inspired me. Enjoy my take on these two.

Harley Quinn gunned the motor as she rushed down one of Gotham’s backstreets. She had to hurry or she wasn’t going to get there in time. She just knew he was in trouble again.

She drove down a dead end and pulled a gun just in time to see the caped crusader holding her main squeeze up in the air by the throat. She fired twice, catching The Batman by surprise as she hit him with both shots. He dropped his prey and fell to the ground.

“Over here, Mr. J!” she called out. “Hurry!”

“See you later, Batsy,” the man in the purple suit laughed as he rushed over. He climbed onto the back of her bike as the man in the cowl began to rise.

“Shit; he’s bullet proof!” Harley cried out.

“Drive, you silly fool!” And with that Harley gunned the engine and sped off out of the dead end.

They hit the street as approaching sirens warned them of more trouble. “What did you do now, Mr. J?” Harley called out over her shoulder.

“Can’t they take a joke?” he retorted, sounding perturbed.

“They don’t have your sense of humor – augh!” She had to swerve to the right as a police car attempted to cut them off.

They went down an alley as a patrol car came charging hard behind them. “This reminds me,” the Joker laughed.

“Of what, Mr. J?”

“I’ve got to get me down to Disneyland! The rides are simply to die for! Ooohoohoohoo!” Harley grimaced, hoping they both didn’t crash and burn on THIS particular ride.

A couple of alleys, a busy cross street, and screaming through a busy intersection ditched their pursuers for the moment. Harley drove them into the darkened Gotham city park. But it wasn’t a very safe place to be even for the two of them. Hell, the damned place was dangerous in the daylight.

“I think we lost them,” she panted heavily as she stopped the bike to catch her breath.

“Mind if I drive?” And with that her passenger pushed her off. A moment later he roared through a set of bushes and disappeared into the night, laughing hysterically while leaving her alone and panting heavily.

She stared in astonishment he’d left his rescuer just like that. Then she sighed heavily. “He just doesn’t get me,” she said tiredly, the disappointment evident as she shook her head. “What do I have to do to prove to him I love him??”

She heard a rustling in the bushes. A moment later two ominous looking men came out, their eyes blazing with menace. “Well look what we’ve got here?” one of them snarled excitedly.

“Boys, I’m simply not in the mood to play tonight.” Then she lashed out at them.

Seconds later they were writhing on the ground, bleeding out with their throats slashed as Harley calmly walked away. She had other things in mind and couldn’t be bothered with their games. She had to do something once and for all to prove to Mr. J just how much she loved him.

—

Two days later at the Gotham civic center a crowd had gathered to witness the annual talent show. But inside they were having technical issues to deal with. An assistant rushed up to the pageant director, gasping for breath.

“Nora? We have a problem.”

“What is it now, Shea? The lights or the backdrop? No wait; don’t tell me. The refreshment stand broke down, the ice machine is down, and all our cold drinks are going to end up warm.”

“It’s worse than that, Nora.”

“What could possibly be worse than that??”

“Five of our girls didn’t show up! And they weren’t at rehearsal either!”

“Great; just great! What else can go wrong??” She sighed heavily and then shook her head, wondering if it was too late to resign…

—

The door creaked open and a lone figure stepped inside from the back of the closed down theater. It had been abandoned for years, although the city was in incessant talks with possible financiers about fixing it up. But for now it remained run-down and unused.

“What’s this all about?” he called out, carefully looking all around. “Bats, you didn’t have to go to all this trouble just to put on your costume for me and put on a show. Aahheeeheeheee.”

“It’s not The Batman, Mr. J!” a female voice called out from somewhere down on the stage. “It’s me!”

“Harley?? I thought I left you in the bushes with the other rabbits! What are you doing in here? I didn’t know you were a patron of the arts!”

“I love you, Mr. J! So I’ve got a special present for you!”

“Special? For me? You’re such a dear!”

There was a mechanical sound followed by the sudden appearance of five spotlights on the stage. They illuminated what appeared to be five circular curtains. The Joker clapped his hands together with glee.

“For me? The curtains are going up?”

“No, Mr. J. They’re coming down.” And with that the five curtains dropped to the floor, revealing five naked females standing with their arms tied behind their backs. They were all wearing high heels and had nooses secured tightly around their necks. All of them had tape covering their mouths and appeared to be frightened out of their wits.

“For your viewing pleasure, Mr. J. Allow me to present to you my own talent show. And now… direct from her porn debut in the critically acclaimed video “I want to die for you”… here’s Miss Lannie Barbie!”

A weight bag suddenly plummeted from somewhere up above. It hit the ground with a whoomp, taking the terrified woman on the end of the row twelve feet up into the air. Instantly she began kicking and twisting, her muffled grunts of horror reaching all the way back to where he was standing. The others standing next to her began to grunt and cry out anxiously.

“Woohoohoo!” he cried out with delight. “Now that’s my kind of talent show!” And with that he began prancing down the aisle toward the stage.

“Next to join her,” Harley’s excited voice proclaimed, “…the redhead you’ve always wanted to snuff since high school… Miss Rebecca can’t-you-just-shoot-me-instead Lane!”

Another weight bag came plummeting down, jerking the well-endowed redhead up into the air right next to Lannie who chose that moment to throw a heel. Rebecca began to kick and twist as well, her naked body gyrating as the noose strangled her to death. In her terror she ended up bumping into the dangling woman right next to her, sending the two of them twisting and swaying wildly.

“Woohoo!” the Joker called out with delight. “That’ll make a man rub his rhubarb!” And with that he unzipped his fly, took his cock out and started stroking it, dancing in the aisle as he drew closer.

“Our next contestant wants everyone to know that even blondes have more fun hanging! Here’s Miss Tasha Reign!”

The eyes of the third bosomy girl in line flew open in horror before she let out a muffled cry as she was abruptly jerked up into the air. She immediately joined her strangling companions as her weight bag hit the stage with a thump behind her. She began to kick her legs as she twisted in the noose, losing both heels while bumping into the one right next to her. Down on the stage floor the other two girls awaiting their turns stared at the fallen heels and then started to scream into the tape covering their mouths as they watched their companions being taken up one by one into the air to their deaths.

“Wonderful; just wonderful!” the Joker gasped as he danced and pranced, drawing every closer to the stage. By now he was eagerly jerking his meat as he watched lewdly.

“Next comes our super attractive ebony contestant! Let’s give it up for Miss Nya I-sure-wish-I-was-back-in-the-ghetto-right-about-now Bella!”

Another weight bag came plummeting down as the poor girl with the voluptuous body and heaving tits was jerked up into the air. She exploded in agony as her legs flew everywhere. She bumped into Tasha, triggering a chain reaction of girls bumping into each other as they hanged together. But by now the first one was starting to become less animated.

“And finally we have the lovely Miss Nina don’t-leave-me-here-by-myself-because-I-want-to-fly-with-my-friends Merce!” The poor girl let out a muffled cry as the weight bag came whooshing down behind her. It jerked her upward, cutting off her muffled shrieks until she was dancing with the others. One of her heels went flying, soaring into the empty seats of the theater.

All five kicked and twisted as they swung back and forth. But on the far end Lannie’s struggles were just about over. She spasmed hard and then calmed right down.

Next to her Rebecca’s legs flew outward. But she was also starting to lose steam. Meanwhile the remaining trio put on a lively little dancing show as they kicked and struggled together, bumping into each other as they twisted and swung.

The Joker eagerly climbed onto the stage, furiously stroking his cock the whole time as he watched the ladies twist and dangle in the air above him. Lannie was hanging quietly; Rebecca was twitching spasmodically; Tasha was slowing down. The last two were still fighting their nooses hard in a delightful, dying duet.

Lannie’s bladder finally gave way. The Joker watched excitedly as urine trickled down her legs to splatter the floor below. A half minute later Rebecca was next to piss herself as her body twitched in its death spasms.

The Joker insanely jerked his meat until cum spurted out of his cock. That’s when Harley came out from behind the curtain near the edge of the stage. Her top barely contained her breasts as her hair was tied up in pigtails on either side of her head.

She walked over and joined her man, running an arm through his as they looked up appreciatively at the two remaining girls still kicking. That’s when the ebony Nya tired from exhaustion, her body slowing down until she was twitching and swaying. “Now that’s what I call a jig!” the Joker gasped, breaking out in delirious laughter.

Harley grinned at him, proud of the way she was winning him over. Hell, anyone who could save him from The Batman and then make him spurt his load like this in front of five dying, sexy bitches had to have a big place in his heart, right?

By now the blonde Tasha was barely struggling at all, her body swaying gently. Nya was spasming, her toes flickering as drool fell out of her gaping mouth to splatter onto her boobs. Her knees tried to jerk upward up as though she could somehow jerk herself out of her noose. But she didn’t have the strength to lift them up very far.

The last one was also tiring, her legs fluttering as her big breasts heaved. Harley had made it a point to pick girls whose boobs would bounce divinely for her man. And they most certainly had.

Tasha’s bladder suddenly gave way, piss splattering the floor beneath her not far from her discarded heels. The murderous duo were standing too close to avoid getting a few droplets on themselves. The Joker just laughed with sadistic glee while declaring, “Now that’s what I call art! If they would have done this in art class I would have never missed school! Ohhohohoho!”

Nya’s bladder soon gave way as she went quiet, her naked body solemnly swaying next to the others who were now quietly twisting as they swung back and forth. Nina was not far behind, the neck of the attractive woman stretching noticeably. Her bladder finally gave way until there were five wet puddles of urine growing beneath five hanged bodies.

The five naked girls originally scheduled for the talent show quietly swayed back and forth. Five ropes creaked along with the continuous dripping sound in the empty, cavernous theater as urine splattered the floor below each one, quietly dripping off legs and toes. The Joker gasped with delight as he looked up admirably.

“My present to you,” Harley motioned grandly. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I love you Mr. J,” she said affectionately as she kissed him deeply. But that was the last thing she remembered as a blow to the back of her head put her lights out.

–

When she awakened she discovered she had a splitting headache. But that wasn’t the worst of her troubles. Harley discovered she was now sitting on the stage, buck naked with her arms tied behind her back and a noose around her neck.

She looked up to see the five naked bodies still there. They were all gently swinging back and forth, ropes creaking. In addition to swaying, Nya and Rebecca were also twisting in place as a result of their exertions. Harley looked up to see a sixth rope – her rope – going all the way up into the ceiling. It looked like there was another weight bag waiting to come down on top of her.

She turned around and saw the Joker standing over by the panel she’d used to trigger all those weight bags. “Mr. J?” she gasped anxiously, her heart pounding in her chest. “What are you doing?”

“Why I’m hanging you, of course. Your present was so special I just couldn’t stop with five!” He was already stroking his hardening cock again.

“But…but I love you!! Is this a joke??”

“Oh, the very best kind, my dear! The jokes on you! Aheeheeheehee!” Then he reached over and pulled the lever.

Harley let out a scream that was abruptly cut off as her body was jerked up into the air while her weight bag hit the stage with a loud thump. Then she was side by side with the others, her legs kicking wildly as she swung back and forth, bumping into Nina’s naked body in the process. She couldn’t breathe, the noose had all but choked off her air.

Down on the stage the Joker was savagely jerking his meat again as he watched her. “Oohhoohoohoo! Now THAT’s entertainment! You’ve convinced me, girl! Now I’m a full-fledged homicidal patron of the arts! Ahhahahahaha!”

Harley started seeing stars as she fought like hell against her noose. But her face was turning read as she kicked and struggled. Her naked body twisted this way and that until she saw the dangling bodies of the girls she’d just sent to hell. Now they were simply going to arrive there a few minutes ahead of her.

She couldn’t breathe, her boobs bouncing as her chest heaved. Down below the Joker was cackling as he jerked his meat. As she found herself slipping away she decided maybe it wasn’t so bad going out this way, not if Mr. J was getting off to her death. Maybe he would remember her naked body hanging side by side with the others with some degree of fondness…

© 2016 (written Aug 19 ’16 by Riwa)