Miss Woodcock – dangling participles


My name is Miss Woodcock – Anita Woodcock. Yes, I know how it sounds. But since I’m attractive I’ve made it work for me.

I teach remedial English at City College, home of Pi Omicron Ro Nu. So I know all about what goes on there. And yes, I get my fair share of “woodcock” jokes, innuendo… and of course the real thing, if you get my meaning.

You’d be surprised how many kids start college with a failing knowledge of English. My task is to train these young men and woman to be able to read and write where their primary school has failed them. I consider myself quite good at my job.

In college I’m allowed to use any incentive I can think of to get these kids to pass. Yes, that means I sometimes use my body. But it also means some of these kids don’t survive. And for that I’m allowed to see to most of those executions myself.

It’s amazing how some of these kids don’t know the first thing about English coming out of high school. It’s even more amazing considering how some of these girls want to get jobs as secretaries. Personally I think they’re hoping their only assignment will be to fetch coffee before blowing the boss. And even that could be an iffy proposition.

I can still remember Deidra Scroggins in my remedial English class at City U. She was a well-built blonde bimbo. But I learned her senior class in Dolcett High voted her “the girl most likely to get herself hanged”.

Her command of the English language only extended as far as her ability to recognize the keys on a keyboard. She couldn’t type worth a damn. And she couldn’t differentiate her adjectives from her adverbs.

She wanted to become a university teacher. I suspect it was because she hoped to be able to fuck her students in order to give them a passing grade. She certainly loved fucking.

I did everything I could to teach her a working knowledge of the English language. I did manage to teach her the difference between a noun and a verb. That’s probably because she knew “cocks” and “pussies” were nouns and “suck” and fuck” were verbs.

One day I reached my wit’s end with this girl. It was the day I passed out another pop quiz. It was a quiz on dangling participles.

I quickly scored them, determined to pass them back before class was over to assess my student’s grasp of the subject. Deidra Scroggins – Dee-dee to everyone who knew her – got only one answer right…and I think she mostly blundered into that one. It was time to do something drastic.

I sent my favorite student Dick McButters to go fetch the Porta-Hang. It was a device on loan to the University. He brought it back a few minutes later, causing the class to “ooh” and “aah” at the sight of it.

It reminded me of a pallet jack, a mechanism that slides under the slats of a heavy wooden pallet or stack of pallets in order to lift them up and move them around. It has a long metal handle attached to a heavy center to counter the added weight of the individual to be hanged. The executioner pumps the handle to hydraulically raise a thick, metal pole with an extension on top. A noose dangles from the extension.

I’d become familiar with how it worked earlier that morning. That’s when I’d thought of my most difficult student. I suppose that’s what gave me the idea to teach “Ditzy Dee-Dee”, as some called her, a lesson that would stay with her for the rest of her life.

I parked the Porta-hang in front of the chalkboard. Then I passed back the quiz papers. When everyone had gotten a chance to see his or her score I summoned Dee-Dee to come to the front of the room.

I made her stand in front of the Porta-hang right next to the dangling noose. All eyes settled upon her, and for good reason. She was wearing a tight red sweater stretched over large, protruding tits. A very short, black skirt and fuck-me heels completed the ensemble. I believe the expression is “…built like a brick wall and ready to fuck”.

I announced to the class we were going to focus on dangling participles for the rest of the period, being as how many had not done well with the quiz. I explained that Dee-Dee was going to help us out. She got excited at the thought she was going to be the center of all that attention.

To this day I firmly believe she was using the opportunity to scope out who she planned on fucking later that night. She seemed to have a hard time focusing on the lesson. She probably liked being the center of attention without applying much learning to that noggin of hers.

I explained that a dangling participle is a modifier that doesn’t seem to modify anything. It occurs when the word being modified is either left out of the sentence or isn’t located near the modifier. Put another way, a dangling participle is a modifier in search of a word to modify.

I smiled as I told Dee-Dee, “Driving like a maniac, the deer was hit and killed.” Then I asked her if that sentence had a problem. She told me no because “her uncle drives like a maniac and has wrecked three cars by hitting deer”.

She grinned the moment everyone laughed, further confirming her desire to be the attention-whore of the room. I gave her a polite chuckle, determined to be as patient with her as possible. Then I asked, “Class, what’s wrong with that sentence?”

Beverly Sparks, one of my brighter students, laughed as she said, “Miss Woodcock, it sounds like the deer was the one driving like a maniac.”

“That’s correct, Beverly. That’s what is known as a dangling participle. The phrase ‘driving like a maniac’ is supposed to modify what comes after it. But it sounds like it is referring to the deer and not someone who must have hit that deer.”

I told Dee-Dee she’d gotten it wrong and had to remove an article of clothing. She happily shed her sweater. I should have known she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. She got whistles and catcalls over her large tits which made her grin like an idiot.

I went on to explain that a participle is a verb that describes a continuous action, such as eating, drinking or walking. Miss Scroggins promptly added, “Or fucking, Miss Woodcock?”

“You got that one right, Dee-Dee.” The class laughed again as she beamed from ear to ear.

“A participle is a phrase, like a sentence fragment, that cannot stand on its own. It is used to modify the subject of a sentence. In our last example, ‘driving like a maniac’ was meant to modify the driver who ended up hitting a deer as a result of his behavior.”

I paused, wondering how many of my students were still struggling to understand. Then I told my clueless student, “Now how about this one, Dee-Dee? ‘Fucking like a whore, the dress quickly came off.’”

“But that’s how I always fuck, Miss Woodcock… without any clothes!”

The class laughed again. Dick blurted out that he didn’t know dresses could fuck. He said he wondered if maybe Dee-Dee was a kinky dress. That made the class laugh again.

For getting it wrong Dee-Dee was forced to remove another article of clothing. Her skirt came off, revealing a soaked thong. If you ask me, I think the kinky bitch was always in some sort of aroused state. All those eyes upon her must have turned her on even more.

“Dangling participles are participles that are not placed next to the nouns they modify, causing a lot of confusion to the reader. It can also result in some unintentionally hilarious grammatical errors. Miss Scroggins, can you come up with a dangling participle in a sentence for the class?”

“Jimmy Norton had me dangle from a noose just last week, Miss Woodcock.”

“That’s not a dangling participle, Dee-Dee. So why don’t you remove those heels for us?”

I don’t know whether or not she deliberately got it wrong. It’s possible she simply wanted to continue undressing in front of everybody. But I suspect she was mostly dumb as a post, unable to truly comprehend the concept of dangling participles.

She gleefully kicked her heels into the chairs, nearly hitting Carl Obergrun. The class laughed again. Carl snatched them up, acting like he wanted to keep them.

“Can anyone come up with a dangling participle in a sentence for Miss Scroggins here?”

Coralee Farnsworth blurted out, “Dangling from the noose, the shoes went flying.” The class laughed again.

“Very good, Coralee. Dee-Dee, how would you change the sentence so it no longer contains a dangling participle?”

She grinned as she giggled, “ ‘Dangling from the noose, my heels went flying and hit Carl Obergrun right on the noggin.’ ” The class laughed again.

“Can anyone help Miss Scroggins on this one?”

“Dangling from the noose, Dee-Dee kicked until her shoes went flying across the classroom.”

“Very good, Mr. McButters.” The class applauded, although Olivia DeFlasio scowled before muttering, “Teacher’s pet.”

I frowned at the student who’d made the comment. “Miss DeFlasio, would you care to give us another example for Miss Scroggins here to correct?”

The young brunette thought about it for a moment. Then she smiled. “Shooting to hit her in the heart, the arrow hit her in the crotch instead.”

“That’s not bad. Miss Scroggins, can you fix the sentence so it no longer contains the dangling participle?”

She defiantly retorted, “Shooting to hit me in the heart, the arrow missed me completely.”

I sighed wearily. “Class? Anyone?”

“Arrows are shot, Miss Woodcock. They don’t ‘shoot’. So I would make it say, ‘I was shooting to hit her in the heart, but the arrow missed her completely’.”

“Very good, Beverly. Miss Scroggins, it seems you owe us your last article of clothing.”

She proudly danced and gyrated to whoops and hollers before pulling her wet thong off. She grinned as she twirled it around in the air. Then she sling-shotted it in the direction of Carl who happily snatched it out of mid-air.

“Class, it seems our nude Miss Scroggins here has not yet figured out what a dangling participle is and how it affects a sentence. Would anyone care to submit another example?”

An attractive co-ed raised her hand. “Yes, Miss Jennings?”

“Kicking in the noose like crazy, her piss dribbled down her legs.”

I liked the way the class was sticking to the theme of hanging. I smiled as I turned to our naked student. “Miss Scroggins, would you care to fix Norma’s sentence?”

“Hanging from the noose, her piss squirted onto the floor?”

“No, Miss Scroggins. That did not fix it at all.”

“But it’s true, Miss Woodcock! Piss can really flow out onto the floor when a person is hanging. Sometimes the woman even squirts from an orgasm!”

“We’re trying to fix a sentence with a dangling participle here, Dee-Dee.”

“Well, you can’t fix a bladder when you’ve had too much to drink and you get pulled up into the air.”

Jerome Cummings called out, “Speaking from experience, Dee-Dee?” The class laughed again.

Miss Jennings fixed her own sentence. “Kicking in the noose like crazy, Dee-Dee struggled until her bladder gave way, causing her to piss herself.”

“That’s much better, Norma.”

“No it’s not!” Dee-Dee blurted out indignantly. “It’s embarrassing to piss yourself!”

“You got it wrong, Miss Scroggins. Please grab the noose and loop it around your neck. Besides, it certainly sounds as though you’ve done this sort of thing many times before.”

“Ok, Miss Woodcock.”

She didn’t seem the least bit alarmed, especially since she was still getting all that attention. She didn’t even sound unhappy she was getting things wrong. Instead, she happily looped the coil around her throat before grinning stupidly at everyone.

“This is very educational,” I observed, winking at my students. “I think you’re being a help to the class, Miss Scroggins.”

“Of course I am. See?” Then she spread her arms and legs, proudly showing off her goodies. Her nipples were fully erect as her cleanly shaved snatch glistened from her arousal.

“Anybody got another sentence for Miss Scroggins here to try to fix?”

“After taking a mouthful of cum, I proudly showed off my favorite slut.” That was Carl Obergrun, proud of the fact he now had Dee-Dee’s heels and thong. He’d actually come up with a good one.

Dee-Dee looked at him and smiled. She thought about if for a second. Then she said, “After taking a mouthful of cum, Carl was so proud of me.” I think she’d just decided who her booty-call was going to be for the night.

I looked at my naked student and smiled. Then I calmly asked, “Does that mean Carl’s the one taking the mouthful of cum?”

Miss Scroggins looked at me as though perplexed. The class laughed out loud. “Depends on if he’s gay!” one of the girls called out. The class laughed again.

“How about this?” Norma suggested. “ ‘After taking a mouthful of cum, Dee-Dee stood up as Carl pointed her out to everybody, telling them she was his favorite slut.’ ”

“That’s much better, Miss Jennings. Thank you.”

“Well it would be if he would ever let me suck his cock,” Dee-Dee replied indignantly. The class laughed again.

“It seems you’re not very good at this, Miss Scroggins. I think we should make your participation in this demonstration a little more interesting. Carl, would you be so kind as to go up and attach Dee-Dee’s wrists to her ankles?”

“Sure thing, Miss Woodcock.”

Everyone seemed to lean forward to watch as Carl got up from his chair. He went over and retrieved a couple of sets of black, leather cuffs from my punishment box that sat on a little table in the corner of the room. Then he headed over to Deidra Scroggins standing with the noose draped around her neck.

Dee-Dee looked at him for a long moment before smiling. She was forced to get down onto her knees. Carl made sure she had enough slack to accomplish her task.

She willingly stretched her arms behind her back toward her ankles, all the while giving Carl the glad-eye. That indicated she’d probably done this before, especially the bondage part. I suspected a lot of my students had engaged in some form of bondage.

Deidra continued to act as though fully anticipating a little noose suspension before class was over. Carl dutifully secured her right wrist to her right ankle as she made lustful eyes at him. Then he secured her left wrist to her left ankle.

She grinned at him after he was finished, licking her lips while giving him a “come hither” look. Her legs were spread as she knelt in place. Her nipples were fully engorged, her pussy dripping.

I walked over to the Porta-hang and pumped the handle. I took most of the slack out of the rope until she could feel just a little tension. Then I calmly asked her, “Shall we try this one last time, Miss Scroggins?”

“Anything you want, Miss Woodcock!” She sounded eager as she grinned at the entire class.

She looked at me as though half-expecting to be suspended in air for a few moments. She seemed more than willing. Every cock in the room was no doubt straining at the sight of her predicament. I wondered how many pussies longed to be in her place.

Her lack of concern over the possibility of being hanged annoyed the shit out of me. Hell, she even acted enthusiastic about it. Maybe it was the attention-whore in her. Or maybe she thought she would only be suspended for a few moments.

I was starting to like the idea of taking her up into the air and making her suffer. I could feel my nipples harden under my blouse and jacket. So I looked at the class and asked, “Does anyone else have a sentence containing a dangling participle for Miss Scroggins here to try and fix? Yes, Beverly?”

“I smelled fish coming downstairs for dinner.”

“That’s a good one. Miss Scroggins, can you fix that sentence so it sounds better?”

“Fish? I don’t like fish, Miss Woodcock. Now oysters, maybe…”

The class laughed as she grinned again. Stupid attention-whore. Didn’t she understand I held her life in my grasp of the handle to the Porta-hang??

“The sentence, Miss Scroggins. Would you please fix the sentence for us?”

“I heard mom cooking fish coming downstairs for dinner.”


Jerome Cummings blurted out, “How can you cook a fish if it’s coming downstairs for dinner? I didn’t know fish could walk.” The class laughed again.

Beverly grinned as she replied, “I smelled mom cooking fish as I was coming downstairs for dinner.” I think she wanted to see Dee-Dee strangling naked in the noose every bit as much as I did.

“Very good, Miss Sparks. Miss Scroggins, it seems as though you still haven’t mastered the fine art of fixing dangling participles. Let’s see if you can master dangling from a noose.” Then I pumped the handle a few times.

The metal pole rose up, lifting the extension with the nylon rope. Dee-Dee was lifted up until her knees were no longer touching the floor. Her eyes bugged out as she let out a “GAWK!” Then she began to wriggle a little.

“Don’t fight the noose, honey. If you do, it will only tighten. You wouldn’t want that to happen now, would you?”

I smiled as I turned and addressed the class. “We had three gentlemen complete the pop quiz with perfect scores. Therefore I’m going to allow you three to come up one by one and remind Dee-Dee of the lesson she should have learned about dangling participles. You may feel free to “dangle your cocks”, so to speak, before using her cunt. Mr. McButters, I believe you’ll be going first.”

“Teacher’s pet,” Olivia muttered again under her breath.

I eyed her dangerously before telling her, “He aced the quiz, Miss DeFlasio. You didn’t.”

Dick rushed up and eagerly unzipped his fly. I cranked the handle to the Porta-hang until Dee-Dee’s cunt was level with his cock. Then he thrust hard inside her dripping snatch and started fucking her.

I stood close by and caressed her mounds as he thrust up into her. I fingered her nipples as she struggled to breathe. Dick gave her a good shafting as the class cheered him on.

He lasted five minutes before he emptied his load inside her, causing it to leak out of her cunt. Somehow Miss Scroggins managed to take it in stride despite her breathlessness, even appearing to enjoy herself. I noticed some of the girls in class fingering themselves. A couple of guys were rubbing their bulges.

“Mr. Atkins, you’re next. You also aced the quiz. So you might as well come on up and help yourself.”

Phillip Atkins got out of his chair and eagerly rushed forward. I think he wanted to fuck Ditzy Dee-Dee while she was still alive in the Porta-hang. He quickly unzipped, pulled his cock out and then really gave it to her good.

Deidra rasped and gurgled as he fucked her while I occasionally groped one of her breasts. Being fucked lifted her body upward a little, at least enough to somewhat ease the strain on her neck. But I could tell she was suffering. That’s when she began giving me glances as though silently asking how much longer before I let her down.

Phillip lasted a good eight minutes before he shot his load inside her. He looked at me regretfully as he told me, “She was clenching too much, Miss Woodcock. I couldn’t hold back.”

“Quite all right, Mr. Atkins. I take it you learned about dangling participles?” He nodded before he went back to his chair.”

“Mr. Obergrun? I believe you’re the only other male to get a perfect score on our quiz. Come on up.”

Carl grinned as he eagerly got out of his seat. I heard a couple of the guys mutter, “Lucky bastard.” I simply smiled as I told them, “Gentlemen, it pays to pay attention in my class.”

Carl came up and revealed his erection to one and all. It was a piece of meat I one day hoped to experience for myself. I made a mental note to think of some way to reward Mr. Obergrun someday after school.

He really gave Dee-Dee a good, hard shafting as she dangled from the noose. I smiled as I told him to enjoy himself. I even suggested he should add a little more tension to the rope if it would make her cunt clench for him.

He pulled down on her as he fucked her good and hard. With her wrists cuffed to her ankles, her legs were parted in such a way as to make it easy to fuck her. I think he appreciated the way I’d arranged her special demonstration on dangling participles.

I heard “oohs” and “aahs” from my class as he gave it to her good. Several females openly masturbated. A couple of the males had actually taken their cocks out to stroke.

It wasn’t long until Dee-Dee’s face began to turn red. She wasn’t going to survive if I didn’t take her down soon. But I’d already made my decision.

It took him a good fifteen minutes before emptying his balls inside her. By then she was thoroughly strangled. It was erotic as hell.

He zipped up and returned to his seat. I smiled as I faced the class. “Now it’s the ladies’ turn. Miss Farnsworth? I believe you got a perfect score on the quiz.”

“Can I use a toy, Miss Woodcock?”


Coralee went over to the punishment box and picked a big dildo that had rubber spikes on it. Then she brought it over. I operated the Porta-hang, bringing it to a level she was comfortable with as she dropped to her knees.

She forced the toy hard up Dee-Dee’s cunt. The ditzy woman jerked and gurgled. Then Coralee began licking and sucking on the strangled bitch’s swollen nub as she ravaged her snatch with the dildo.

Deidra’s struggles began to lessen. Coralee fucked a massive orgasm right out of her quivering cunt. I know because the poor thing squirted her climax all over, drenching Miss Farnsworth while causing the class to laugh out loud.

Next it was Norma Jennings’ turn. She came up and took the toy from Coralee. But she forced it hard up Dee-Dee’s ass as she licked, nibbled and bit on that clueless girl’s clit.

By now Deidra Scroggins was no doubt wishing she would have paid a lot more attention to my class. She was barely breathing, her face a deep shade of red. Norma wasn’t the least bit gentle on her. Girls can be like that when it comes to abusing other bitches.

When she was done it was Beverly’s turn. She matter-of-factly told me, “I like ‘em when they’re dead, Miss Woodcock.”

“You have my permission, Miss Sparks.” Dee-Dee’s eyes widened a little in alarm, although by now she was barely with us.

I lifted Dee-Dee up a little higher. Then my eager student jumped up and grabbed onto the body, adding her weight to ditzy Deidra’s. The poor thing went into spasms before we all heard a little crick from her neck.

Dee-Dee’s bladder quickly gave way. But Beverly didn’t care. That’s when she dove in and started lapping up all that fluid dripping out, feasting and moaning like a bitch in heat.

The bell sounded; class was over. I allowed any students who didn’t have another class to stay behind and enjoy Miss Scroggins. Meanwhile I just sat at my desk and went through some papers.

A half hour went by before the remaining students finished. Soon I was left alone with Deidra Scroggins. I went up to her and appreciatively caressed her all over. Then I wheeled her out into the hall and left her there. I wanted to make sure any students who might be curious about the Porta-hang would get a chance to see it in use. She stayed there until classes were over and the janitor went through the building that night.

(Below is an illustration of the Porta-hang, rendered by C. Mike Hunt.)

2019 (written Jun 23 ’19 by riwa)

(Inspired by an idea by C. Mike Hunt.)

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