{"id":13465,"date":"2017-05-19T16:52:02","date_gmt":"2017-05-19T22:52:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/?p=13465"},"modified":"2017-05-19T16:52:02","modified_gmt":"2017-05-19T22:52:02","slug":"may-19-2017-update","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/?p=13465","title":{"rendered":"May 19, 2017 Update"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve had a very difficult past few days. It started with a phone call telling me my ex-wife Mary was in the hospital in ICU. She\u2019d been having fluid buildup around her lungs and she was starting to have issues of passing out.<\/p>\n

I went over to visit on Friday and then back to visit on Saturday morning. That afternoon I got a call from a friend telling me they\u2019d had to use the defibrillator on her 5 times. So I went back Saturday afternoon and watched them attach shock pads to her front and back for the next time her heart stopped.<\/p>\n

When I went back on Sunday morning I discovered things had deteriorated even more. I learned Mary had told the doctors she no longer wished to have her heart shocked. She has always disliked pain, so I could understand her decision. I also learned she had been put on comfort care, meaning to give her pain meds and little else just to maintain her comfort levels as per her request.<\/p>\n

I spent the next three days and nights staying with her. It gave me a deeper understanding of what my mom went through during my dad\u2019s final stay in the hospital from cancer. I went home in the mornings to get cleaned up and then again in the afternoon for a couple of hours to decompress. But it was only a matter of time.<\/p>\n

Wednesday afternoon I was with her when we got permission to remove her from the ventilator she was using. That was the last item keeping her alive. I was there by her side when she passed away a few minutes later. We started our marriage May 17, 1985 and ultimately severed our relationship with her passing May 17, 2017.<\/p>\n

It was very hard and very stressful. But the staff at ICU was incredible. They were always seeing how they could help me while I stayed there on watch. Their kindness and professionalism still astounds me as I do not think I have what it takes to watch people suffer and die like that.<\/p>\n

Plans are in the works for a service before her remains will be cremated. Afterwards comes the task of getting back to life as normal, if there is such a thing. It occurs to me I shall miss my weekly Saturday visits as she always wanted to hear about my friends and what I was doing and working on.<\/p>\n

Some of you might wonder how you can be of help. I have been thinking about that. I have an idea that may sound a little clich\u00e9d. But it is the best I can come up with.<\/p>\n

Go out to dinner with your parents, your spouse, your brothers and sisters, or your children. Or have a nice meal at home with them. Spend some time looking at them and appreciating them. After all, you just never know when a quirk of fate will separate you.<\/p>\n

During our marriage Mary did some posing for me. It will always be a nice memory of her posing for picture stories or making a little video clip. She always did like to know how much people liked how she pretended and play-acted. So allow me to post a few pics of her for you to enjoy.<\/p>\n

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. And thanks for stopping by\u2026<\/p>\n

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I\u2019ve had a very difficult past few days. It started with a phone call telling me my ex-wife Mary was in the hospital in ICU. She\u2019d been having fluid buildup around her lungs and she was starting to have issues … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[35],"class_list":["post-13465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-pictures"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13465","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13465"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13465\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13485,"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13465\/revisions\/13485"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riwaslibrary.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}